All The Women Hate Freud

deconstruct me,
i know you can.

i am the daughter
of divorce,
of child abuse,
more specifically,

i am the daughter
of a mother who didn't know she could have
what she wanted,
who got depressed after she lost it.

the daughter of a father
who gave me everthing i wanted
and who hated me for my wants and values
simultaneously,

hated me for defending my mother
and her point of view,
her philosophy of the world,
or maybe it was i that hated,

either way,
the dinner table
was an uncomfortable situation.

i am the product
of bad mistakes
and bad judgements,
of wanting to get out of a math test
and embellishing

the way my father
kicked me.
that wasn't embellishment.

deconstruct me,
i am the product of a
Freudian agenda,
not where i wanted to have my father
but where i sided with him
and started to hate my mother

because i hated her
and i hated her
and i hated her for no reason
other than

that she was there
(she didn't have my father).